CANDICE
CANDICE
The Past
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
2:02 PM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
2:40 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
5:58 PM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
1:09 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
2:58 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
2:27 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
7:45 PM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
8:47 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
5:02 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
4:19 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
2:27 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
2:48 PM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
3:28 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
4:36 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
5:27 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
6:14 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
4:27 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
6:07 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
12:10 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
5:28 PM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
4:18 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
3:43 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
11:03 PM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
4:39 PM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
1:39 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
2:53 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
4:44 PM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
1:22 AM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
5:00 PM
& BABY I NEED YOUR LOVIN' ;
11:45 PM
_._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._
thats how much you mean to me
_._
this is how much i mean t you
20 : 2
10 : 1
omg
so pathetic right?
sam gave me this web link around 2 months back
pretty and not so expensive tees, i love.
miss sherlyn aw is beside me talking t her prince.
they went cycling today and i didn't cause miss aw didn't receive my text t call me when she's awake but i guess it was good cause it rained! HA. i won't wanna be drenched. actually i didn't have the mood t head out but after listening to some songs that made my mood better i got out of the house. eve went t meet vince and so i went t meet sher and ting. they were SMELLY, okay not that bad but i could smell it when i was standing behind ting due t the rain. oh, i saw this pretty adidas jacket can consider purchasing it (;
anyhow, today we had budget dinner cause we were not very rich and not very hungry. chilled at spin and up t NUM ting got a party tank for her mother. i think our clique have most of the country. sherlyn aw made me behave retardedly outside heeren, FRIGGING RETARDED. ting and sher went t the toilet leaving me alone. suddenly vincent came from behind and sat beside saying " waiting for me right, i'm here already! " i totally freaked out. aug came down and left not long after that cause he wasn't in his best of mood. so the 3 of us cabbed t my house, the ass cab driver was driving off when sher have not closed the door and i was only half way in.
i swear you can make me fly,
i can feel the static (;
oh baby you make me go crazy.
HAHA, yeah right.
its the way you make me feel
a nobody
did up abit of my blog, cleared of the links cause some people are just are too busy with life or have lost interest in blogging and they left the blog there t rot. maybe i will be one of them someday, hopefully not though. have been you tube-ing, finding shows t entertain myself.
i plucked up courage t tell you what i wanted t say but it does not seem as if it meant anything t you. somehow it was like a one ear in one ear out kind of thing.
actually i think i saw somethings which obviously wasn't for me
well, at least i know something now.
ffs-
why does your words hurt so much, they are like bullets shooting t my heart.
its more painful then what you think.
i made myself feel better. not easy but better to forget matters that are better of forgotten. you can push me down any moment, do i mean a thing t you? you won't understand how i feel till you are in my shoes.
i always thought you were someone who will keep up t your words. I'M HIGH, sounds more plesant to the ears compared to I'M DRUNK, obviously. when one is drunk stupid things would be done, which has t do with the opposite sex. i guess that explains why you didn't had the time t reply my text. seemed like i've lost connection with you for hours. oh wells, everyone has their own limits. i don't want t go through whatever i've went through cause it hurts like fuck.
i couldn't sleep after the phone call just now. prolly there are too many things clogged in my mind. anyhow, after 3 long months of not clubbing finally we went down t liquid. it was the dj's anni. met ong, vince and eve in town before we cabbed down. eve met her friend, he looks like some kinda teddy bear. one kind soul indeed cause he kept my cam and cig. finally regi came, she actually wanted t back out just like lia. same spot on the dance floor and shots which got me a little tiny bit high. another 4 of eve's friends came, one of them was mabel ( i only know her ). one of the guy friend of hers was like, crap i can't think of any word t describe him. he went like "you really know how t shake" and he told regi "relax regi shake your ass" or something like that. another stupid question, where did you learn it from? like whats up with you. eve told him don't try t hit on us cause we're attached, the way she said it was totally busted type. bang t his pride. anyhow, what happen in the club stays in club, i shall not say more. saw afew familar faces though; joel, clifford, joshua, flesh imp people.... had supper and cabbed home. first thing remove make-up, shower and blew dry my hair. BED TIME. fell asleep and woke up arnd 5+ 6 had 3 missed calls, thought it was leon but saddly it wasn't.
waiting is a torturing process.
was talking t clifford and he asked me something which i didn't know how t reply, i was totally unsure of the answer. lost for a moment and i faked the answer. oh mann, i feel so guilty bout what had happen, kill me pls.
[/EDITED]
i realize its time i should face reality,
i can't depend on you t make me feel right when i'm down.
i can't expect much love from you,
i dont expect you t understand me.
should i ask when things are wrong,
cause you always get oh so irritated.
i tried creating coversations
but i'll only end up making you agitated
which i will never expect it and want it to turn out that way.
should i just shut my trap, hear your background
then hear you asking me why im so quiet
i really don't understand.
your treatment towards me;
stages of tortures
don't i mean anything t you
where's the sweet you,
the loving side of you, the one i knew.
whats up with you being so secretive,
strange.
sometimes i wonder if there's another.
i dare not make you angry,
even when i'm angry i try not t show it
though i know, i will a little.
for my case,
you don't bother if i'm unhappy
maybe its because you're stress bout this friday
maybe...otherwise.
my smiles are just a front
though i try t hide it, it's clear
my world crumbles when you are not near
you don't even notice me.
love you-
sherlyn woke me up by texting me but its okay, i don't blame her cause i asked her to do so. (; she came over t my place, tv, bitch, photoshop, music, mags and GAMES(weird but she was bored). had dinner and as usual she had a big appetite. she complained that she was hungry an hour or so after dinner. she's my pillar who never fails t be there for me when i'm not right, thanks darling. eve is my other pillar, thank god i've got them both.
anyhow, there is a wake just infront of my place, less than a meter away from my window. that's like frigging close. they usually have it at the void deck but this time round its diff, its at the void deck. scary, yes i know. sher was afraid t walk home just now but she had someone t talk t her on the phone while walking down.
i guess you don't suffer from any heartaches so you don't know how much painful it is.
who wants a heart that's able t be broken?
this treatment just leaves me in tears.
is it because i don't mean a thing t you?
in my entire life no one has ever told me what kind of music i should listen to and what i shouldn't. but today this mofo tells me what music i should listen to, like to hell with you cause i listen to whatever i think is pleasent t my ears and am sure you do too. anyhow, your judgement of music isn't the same as mine, that's for sure. SO LIKE PLEASE STFU.
eve came over t my place today, ting brought rocky along. hah, my sister was freaked out. rocky was sucha good boy, he didn't even bark once. cooked dinner for rocky, seems weird yes.
oh what a weird text i received from him today. omg, it totally freaked me out. i thought he texted the wrong person. like what a question and what a reply, i don't get it. nevermind, cause i know he won't say so no shaits given t it.
i wonder what has gone into you
everything that seems bad t me,
seems t be fine t you
oh baby, i need your loving.
i'll not forget that sentence, tone and facial expression
BANGBANG, your words were bullets
you were happily laughing away
while i was bleeding with the bullets pierced
i guess you think you were right.
its weird, when i didn't ask you said i was fake
and when i ask, you shut me up.
i loved you, i still love you.
are you tryna push me away?
Time heals all the wounds,
Time heals all the scars,
It can take as long as
weeks, months, to years,
But in the end
Time Will heal
Some day I will wake up,
And I won't think of you at once.
Some day your voice won't haunt me anymore
Some day I'll find it difficult to picture your face,
Some Day I won't get weak by your touch or melt away by your smile,
some day I'll forget your smell,
Some day I can see you and not the past,
Some day I'll move on.
found this in my old blog
baby got my attention that was why i was distracted and couldn't complete the previous post but i finished 99% of it at babys place. still i'm too lazy t update that 1%. oh wells, took videos again today. i'll try t upload it t youtube.
went all the way t kovan today cause eve and josh thought its time t change a new hair style. andy cut for the both of them. ting, sher and i were like dying of bordem there. i was extremely sleepy due t the pathetic five and a half hours of sleep including the irritating phone calls. someone gimme some sleeping pills please, seems like i'm having some sleeping disorder.
anyhow, josh went t meet his friend and the rest of us cabbed down t somewhere near maxwell. had belly dancing lesson. crap, it wasn't as easy as what i thought it would be, couldn't really coordinate well. sher and i kept on laughing (the usual us).
went over t west coast 24hrs mac with sher, RUting,hui,wen and her boyfriend, her boyfriend sent us there. sher and i left early, shared cab. went t find leon and ong over at holland then he sent us t leon's place.
was waiting for the cab along the road with baby so meantime we were talking and smoking. many empty cabs passed but i didn't want t leave yet but this cab still insisted on waiting when baby gave him a hand sign TWICE showing him that we are not waiting for a cab. i didn't wanna take that cab either cause it'll be so paiseh so we had t pretend t walk back hoping that the cab driver would go. then we were walking back t the road side again, the same old cab waited again. like wth, he already drove off and he is back again. so we pretend t talk hoping that he'll leave again and he did. i flagged for another cab and went off then i saw him turning back t the same place again. baby and i thought he was weird or some stalker. that was like 4am in the morning, freak show.
suppose t go swimming tmr with the whole big group but i shall only head down when i'm awake. i'm just plain lazy besides i'm still peeling from the last time i tanned. oh, eve got her pretty vintage bob hairstyle. for god knows what reason i just can't seem t upload the photos in here but nevermind, i'm too tired t figure it out.
leon's my all time sweetheart (;
[EDITED]
from the moment i woke up i've been talking on the phone. hung up got ready t meet sher and eve for dinner. sher and my dressing were slack, no make-up and she wore specs. went ikea and eve got her stuff. we were surprise that all the queues were extremly long. we figured out that there was a ikea sale and typical sgpreans are kiasu, so it explains it all. went t haagen dazs t chill and sherlyn's hugo boss guy came. walked over t sherlyn's place then more people came took videos and etc. walked home with aug and josh. while walking that dumbarse aug kept on asking me t look at the deserted blocks which were gonna be tore down soon and the temple ahead. when we split ways i walked home faster cause i was quite scared, chicken heart la can. was kinda out of breath when i reached home. the night was filled with fun, poolside, 7-11 purchases, five weird people with two guitars, videos and candid pictures. not forgetting the great company of friends (;
fragile
so fragile
extreme fragile
max-ed fragile
fragile love.
suicide sounds great but risky
come suffocate me
white pills and coke
road accident
a sudden collapse of a tall building
typical high floor suicides
chair, rope, hang
dead-
it'll stop the pain
as well as the fears
no shait emotions
kill the waiting
everything will be peaceful
that's when i'll have a perfect smile
without any distraction
stop my clock from ticking
BANG BANG, baby come shoot me down.
s ; where?
me ; your house? my house? where house? i can eat any house now.
s ; okay, i'm gna take cab now.
me ; make sure he doesn't cheat or i'll eat the damn house.
why don't you just ask someone t kill me and make it seem as if its some suicide case. i guess that move will let everyones life be so much better. apparently, your words stabs deeply.
pretty down but i guess you thought
that i was showing attitude
SL-
those smiles and laughter were fake
guess you couldn't differentiate
at least i got t see you
and have you in my arms
changed the layout a little and cleared up some parts. simplicity is beauty, no point making it so complicated.
well, i'm pretty tired thinking bout these issues and my SL. i can't play pretend for long. but till now, i shall continue shut up and pretend. you are way too busy with your stuff that you don't even notice me. you mean the world t me. you're my oxygen, seems rather dramatic but that's the truth. i want to keep you for long but how long are you willing t let me keep you for?
thanks to the three main people (;
appreciate everything
love you people.
happy now.
happy happy happy.
never.
omg, i think sher called me when she was at the airport today and i was sleeping so i talked rubbish t her. SHAIT. but i rem she asked me if i know who she was then i was like yes. omg omg omg, i was dead tired. oh well, that was like eight this morning.
looked out of my window and saw this teen girl sitting at the top level of the open air carpark reading and using her laptop. that's like so weird, shouldn't she be doing all those somewhere more appropriate.
trying t make myself happy
cause i don't think i can rely on you
i guess, i don't mean a thing t you
maybe just a companion
no right, no say
last on the list, out of the list
don't mean a thing, never meant a thing
don't love, never loved
lost it.
it's not a proud issue, saddening
hopeless, depressing, disappointing
don't bother, never bothered
everything, nothing.
was reading my old blog, all the past rantings. the way, things and events i typed, now i think it seems really 'funny' in all sense. i really like one part of a particular post.
; us ; overits totally the past.
it has become history
we're not a couple anymore.
yes, i still love you.
yes, i still miss you.
but, i dont need you anymore.
i once had a illusion
;us ; gettin married
; everlasting love.
illusions are never real.
i've learnt ma lesson
; the painful lesson that was taught by you,
i`ll rem it.
its true ; frm the bottom of ma <3>
;the love for you was the deepest ever.
not now anymore.
memories will be kept.
but one day it might just fade away.
i'll ask you back, no more.
you brought me nothang but pain.
its, all over.
it strucked me, the painful past that i went through. at least i didn't the very last time cause i knew things will be back t square one, as what every other one said. anyway, it's the past.
watched big momma's house 2 just now, 4/5 popcorns. you people should go watch it, its worth the money. wanted t settle supper at redhill's market but it was closed cause its a monday. so we went t 7-11 and back t sher's place t eat. chat and laughed bout the past events. oh and this embarrassing thing happen while waiting for mom t fetch me. as usual it was late and dangerous (yeah right) i was actually lazy t walk up. wanted t clean my foot cause the drink spilled on it. i lost my balance therefore i kept hopping arnd like some idiot at 2am. sher held me but think she couldn't hang on so she let go but if i were t hang on i'll pull her down too. i landed straight on my butt chick. omg, so embarrassing! but luckily there wasn't anybody there.
its a matter of getting use to it
kill those hopes
swallow everything myself
just pretend t be fine.
only one human knows it.
went town with mom today, went mng t try 2 tops might be getting them. headed t taka's ax and got the top. wanted t go tangs but mom and i were too lazy t walk. went fcuk t find ruting. hahs, her sister bought the ax top she wanted so she need not buy it alr, lucky her. then left t wheelock's t have dinner with dad, mom, sis and my sis bf. so sad luh, dad decided to be a kind soul today and wanted t buy for me birkenstock but we went up too late so i couldn't get it but i'll still make him get it for me, that includes the two tops too (;
disturb-ed
i feel so mountain, i didn't know sgp has a GOLD in colour london cab. yesterday met sher, aug and his friend arnd our area. wanted t bus down t town but we missed it so we decided t take a cab. some of the cab in sight didn't even wanna stop, dumbfucks. so we had t cross the frigging long overhead bridge AGAIN. there was still no cab, so aug called for one. apparently the cab uncle couldn't find us so he asked aug t look out for a gold colour london cab. we all didn't believe till it came, how mountain! thank god we stopped at heeren's taxi stand when there wasn't many people. went heeren then t cine for dinner with ting and sel then eve came and we went up t rockys.
i bet its like
i love you people. OH CRAP, i forgot boutcha
OR
i love you people, who gives a shait bout you
all i think is about you people and i love you people and only want you people, UH HUH.
rahhh...
both are oh so bad
wonder which.
and whats up with the t.wanking, shait bitch?
that nick of yours is frigging sweet then again, it seems EXTREMLY familar t me.